She is cracking...
Not noticably, not significantly, but in small ways, in moments and split seconds, in shifts.
The little bits of her which were hanging on by threads now fall off only to plunder into the depths of darkness where they cannot be found. It seems funny to her, a simple thing such as this and she cannot even feel it.
The little bits of her which were hanging on by threads now fall off only to plunder into the depths of darkness where they cannot be found. It seems funny to her, a simple thing such as this and she cannot even feel it.
Only yesterday she was inspiration, only yesterday she was motivation. It was only yesterday that she had found herself, in the late mornings of the night, listening to golden hits of powerful women reminding young girls not to give up hope, not to be sucked into the mass media of the sexual world... she seems to find her self in the moments in between reality and dreams. Juut seconds of realization before they twitter away beyond reach waiting for her to find them again...maybe she held on too tight, it took so long to discover who she was, it tooks so much to finally solve the puzzle, maybe she held on too tight, maybe she let herself slip through her own grasp.
There was no second guessing herself yesterday, there were no regrets, no fleeting hopes of time machines to erase the past.
There was no second guessing herself yesterday, there were no regrets, no fleeting hopes of time machines to erase the past.
It seems simple enough to break the promises she made to herself, it seemed unimportant then that she did. But its funny in a way, she thinks, to not be quite sure of what you were perfectly clear about only yesterday.
Some things are written in stone, she realizes, and no matter how hard she fights or how tightly she holds on, everything is slipping, sliding through her fingers like sand and over and over again until she is drowning in every pain and every second, and she can no longer breath through her memories,
her lungs burn and her head aches, and she doesnt understand how it got to this point, how one moment became another and she ended up right where she was before,
her lungs burn and her head aches, and she doesnt understand how it got to this point, how one moment became another and she ended up right where she was before,
cracking.
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11 comments:
I dont get this one..
lol Aiman, whats not to understand? Its pretty straightforward. Its clearly a person who has had much sadness and struggles in life, who isnt willing to give up so becomes motivated and strong and uses other strong women to inspire her, however, she also thinks her fate is something she cannot change so things still go wrong, and she goes back to that stage where she feels broken and lonely. So she goes from motivation to broken and cracked up. At least thats what i think it is in simple words.
question: how is it she "ended up right where she was before" when the wording of everything else seems like she isn't ... contradiction me thinks
She started off confused, cracking feeling like everything was over and there was nothing else. And then she came to her sense bylistening to other female talking about feminism and powerful words riled her, raising her hope for the day. In the end, she comes back to exactly where she was before, cracking confused, feeling liek everything is over because those words were momentuous. Either that or she wasnt able to hold on to their essence long enough to bring herself out of her misery.
in the end though to her it felt as though she was back in the beginning, in the same hole as before.
ya i get that ... but that's exactly the concern.
it seems that, in all this disarray and confusion, she is getting to be ok with it, and more so, moving on. such is expressed by what seems like, to me at least, the culminating statement: "But its funny in a way, she thinks, to not be quite sure of what you were perfectly clear about only yesterday."
thus, the contradiction in ending up right back where she started ...
Haha, you are bent on questioning this to hell huh? Okay, I apologize maybe I should have been clear? she is ending up right back where she started with respect to that specific time when she felt broken and destroyed. Her journey is irrelevent as far as she is concerned. it's as if what she was sure about yesterday does not exsit, as if she never had those empowering moments. better?
it still seems like a contradiction to me
i know what you are trying to say, but to me it's as if it's not clear enough.
and if you're trying not to be clear, then i'm sure it's good. lol :)
No, I'm not trying to be clear. haha, my writing is very elusive.. if you havent seen yet? I'd rather people think what they want to think instead of thinking what I think. It makes things interesting.
LOL ... what a loser
fine
as long as it holds true to you
oh ok thanks aliza..
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