I've glimpsed loneliness,
In the moments between,
wakefulness and sleep,
When thoughts merge into dreams.

I've cried under the weeping moon
& shivered cold right through my soul
I choke upon my very own fears.
in the tangent moments that reality appears
Ive seen the sunlight drenching grass
warmth filling the world
and yet my cold feelings refuse to cleave
How long does darkness last?

In this impending doom
Without you I am losing myself,
In solitude and despair,
It gnaws right at the heart of me,
To know you are not here.
Now in your absence all is dark
and I have lost my way
Feeling so helpless, with nowhere to turn
Living is a lesson best left unlearned.
I want to be with you, forever on end
but some things are meant to just be pretend
I choke upon my very own fears.
in the tangent moments that reality appears
How long does darkness last?

My heart is guarded heavily
by my wavering wall
I'm afraid someone, someday, will make it fall
I stay beautifully silent within myself
and this is where I weep
underneath the weeping moon
this is where I grieve.
The world is cold without you
And I seek a place
To bask in your warmth
I need to see your face.

"And when its dark I think of you
To find a small escape
And in my dreams I'm close to you
How long does darkness take?"

Thank you lord for everything
the misunderstandings & the broken dreams
The clothes that were worse for wear
The smiles that you made possible to share
The money that we didn't have
The love that we couldn't grab
For all the hardships and all the mistakes
everything through which we had to pave

Thank you lord for all the tears
The menacing threats and all the fears
The ending of all the things on which we rely
The acceptance of all that which we deny

Thank you lord for everything
every drop we couldnt drink
Every bite we could not eat
Every rumble in the stomach that would not let us sleep

Thank you lord for all the pain
All the grieving
All the disdain

Thank you lord for all of these
because every love we could not have
every battle we could not win
Was handed to another, to fulfill their happiness at their every whim
Thank you lord for not giving us, so you could give to another.

Thank you lord for everything.
The food you gave us
and the water we were destined to drink

For all that you give us, is our everything.

Like an angel in my dreams
You come and sweep me off my feet
Whisper sweet nothings in my ear
Don’t you leave my side, don’t you dare

Your laughter sounds oh so profound
Like words ringing; a wisdomous sound
The way your eyes close when you sigh
I could just fall back and stare at you through the
sky

Your smile; it brightens up any day
Your presence, it lingers just a few feet away
When you hold my hand
The world feels right again

Your kisses help me stand
Through all this worldly pain
And I can just see us hugging,

in middle of the rain

You make my heart smile, even when you're not there
And it brightens when it sees you coming near
I could just climb the skies and kiss you
Stand up tall and scream to the world I love you
Running beside you despite the despair
Falling into the sky with you beside me, without
a care

Like an angel in my dreams
You come and sweep me off my feet
Whisper sweet nothings in my ear
Don’t you leave my side, don’t you dare

____________________

I am horrible at writing happy poems, so when this came out I was pleasantly surprised.

We made a call for peace today
and this is how it goes

oh God, save the Earth
from where the water flows
Astonishing how hate sprouts
So easily, pushing peace out
Gunpowder tightens the air
Please, they say, war is but a political affair

From land to land
red rain showers over the sea
sleeping beneath the purple sky
mother Earth weeps to be free

And yet you still pick up your sword
to hack away
at those, to whom you used to say "Good Day"

Scorched into memory
Remnants of children
sinking into the ground
vultures hovering over their missing limbs

I close my eyes over paper and pen
wondering about this slaughter of men
Ink is like bullets, and stains like blood
hatred fills us like an undying flood
The Earth thunders as war is begun anew
In the purple haze of the morning hue

Oh God save the Earth
From where the waters grieve
We made a call for peace today
Please, tell your soldiers to leave

They say blood is thicker than water

But sometimes blood is what does you wrong

The mother has been killed, slaughtered

Blood on the hands of her newborn.

Blood has the strongest ties

But blood is what'll make you cry

You expect to be saved

But by bloods hands your body is paved

Turned into a slave; they steal the clothes off your back

I'm at the end of the rope stretched so thin

Too tired to know what's happenin'

Where's blood when you need a hand?

Where's blood when you can't stand?

She's standing behind you waiting for you to fall asleep

So she can stab you; steal you money to feed her greed.

______________

"Blood is thicker than water but it leaves worse stains" -anonymous.

It is in the darkness of life in which I reside
In the hollows of death in which I confide

They lay to me a ear for listening
They pay no heed to the sins above my head
They do not dangle my past, consuming me with dread
They do not test my anger, turning page by page
And when the time comes they take me away
ever so silently, I have no dismay
There is no laughter, no sorrow, no fear

Eyes open staring at this body of mine, there is
not a single tear.
They stick by me as my heart reaches my throat.
They listen to these sobs of mine, pressing
close like ghosts.
They hold me as I cry, rocking back and forth
A chill runs through me, and they tense as I
scream
Afraid of what may seem to be a dreadful dream
Their cold arms reach, consuming my warmth
I lay cold on stone, wishing to disappear
There is no place to run, that is very clear.

For It is in the darkness of life in which I reside
In the hollows of death in which I confide.
It is not a choice to whose I may be
I am already taken, never to be free.

You're a fairy-tale, a story broken in two.
Forgotten, lost; like Hansel and Gretel
looking for bread crumbs in the cue.
I’ll pick you up, and dust you off the old wooden shelves
I’ll heal you
I’ll hold your hand and walk the woods with you.
I’ll find you in the candy house
defeat the witch for you.
I’ll rebind you, open your doors
and never let the fire burn you.
I’ll coat you in plastic, you’ll be like new.
My fairy-tale.
Everything I ever wanted was you.

__________________

I am a stunning purple bird
with burning orange wings.
I am the wind beneath my feet
dancing as I sing.
I am the river bed
as it follows the stream.
I am the tree
standing tall, majestic and free
I am the bird as it whistles
stories of new and old.
I am the legend as it sinks
into the tellings of folklore
How more can I describe the soul that belongs
to this human shape in which I reside?
I am what I am
A stunning purple bird
with burning orange wings

__________________

They cannot accept you for who you are 

We are all of us in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars¹.

Time to start anew, time to start anew, the story of every farce. Dreaming of tall buildings; paving roads on mars. It’s a whole new world up there where the sunshine meets life, where the moons embrace the stars. Staring at the sky, wonder if you’ll ever get that high. Growing wings is not an option; you feel your light will die from the despair. Every day is a journey, every step a lifetime. Maybe if you push a little harder, cry a little softer, yell a little louder the world might stop from crashing down as it tends to. Maybe if you

Dream Big

Hope Hard

Love Enough

Out of the gutter you can come into the light out of the strife. We may all be in the gutter but some of us make it to the stars. Some of us know there’s more to life than condos and big cars. Some of us hold real love at heart, friendship in sight, willingly hurtle into the abyss mid-flight.

____________________________________________

She is cracking...
 

 Not noticably, not significantly, but in small ways, in moments and split seconds, in shifts.
The little bits of her which were hanging on by threads now fall off only to plunder into the depths of darkness where they cannot be found. It seems funny to her, a simple thing such as this and she cannot even feel it.
 

Only yesterday she was inspiration, only yesterday she was motivation. It was only yesterday that she had found herself, in the late mornings of the night, listening to golden hits of powerful women reminding young girls not to give up hope, not to be sucked into the mass media of the sexual world...  she seems to find her self in the moments in between reality and dreams. Juut seconds of realization before they twitter away beyond reach waiting for her to find them again...maybe she held on too tight, it took so long to discover who she was, it tooks so much to finally solve the puzzle, maybe she held on too tight, maybe she let herself slip through her own grasp.


There was no second guessing herself yesterday, there were no regrets, no fleeting hopes of time machines to erase the past.

It seems simple enough to break the promises she made to herself, it seemed unimportant then that she did. But its funny in a way, she thinks, to not be quite sure of what you were perfectly clear about only yesterday.
 

Some things are written in stone, she realizes, and no matter how hard she fights or how tightly she holds on, everything is slipping, sliding through her fingers like sand and over and over again until she is drowning in every pain and every second, and she can no longer breath through her memories,
her lungs burn and her head aches, and she doesnt understand how it got to this point, how one moment became another and she ended up right where she was before, 

cracking.

He stood in front of his mirror as he carved out a heart.
Above the middle of his chest, slightly to the left
The carving was deep almost like it was engraved
It turned red instantly, like it was real and not fake.
And a thought occurred to him, like bliss
If he had to prove to her he had a heart
Why not dig deep enough to show the one that did exist

He took his scalpel, and slowly he flaked off his skin
The pain in his heart was so great,
That he couldn't feel the pain on his skin, there wasn't even a twinge.

And when he looked down, it seemed it was much too late.
Sure he could see the diamond beating,
but within seconds its movement was fleeting

lovely red spreads everywhere
as he smiles at her memory;
whispers into the darkness
"this is what was broken, now you see..."

_________________

A heartbeat is not an indication of life, because a beating heart could still be dead

It is in love, where fools die
lost in memories of tomorrows possibilities
still feeding on the vinegar tears and chocolate kisses.
Denying the existence of yesterdays sorrows
Still hung up on those lavender lies,
hoping today will hold your very last cry.

The truth is there, sitting in the light
But you want to be surrounded by shadows and sighs
Hopeless dreams where your heart shatters again and again
Running moments through your head, threading them together trying fruitlessly to make a movie and you inked the words with an invisible pen

Tainted hope lies at your door as she knocks again. 

Wishful thinking and teenage dreams combine to make you want to scream.
But away from her you cannot go, you fool dipped in misguided hope.
Trampled and trodden & still you stand
Body bruised & still you offer your hand

& really, it is in love, where fools die.



___________________

Tomorrow will hold nothing for you, if you do not hold anything for it.